Cullen Moves To Clarify Rape Comment

Minister for Arse-All and Antics, Martin Cullen, just awake after his little sleepy bye bye

The Minister for Arse-All and Antics, Martin Cullen, has moved to clarify his widely reported statement that he chose his words carefully to describe his treatment at the hands of the media as akin to “waking up every morning and being raped”.

Today, Mr Cullen said that he had “…misspoke” and that he had meant to say that “My treatment by the media at that time was like waking up every morning and being governed by Fianna Fail.”

“Obviously I regret nothing and will continue looking indignantly into the middle distance as if I’m doing something far more important than trying to remember all of the words to the Safe Cross Code song” he concluded, before slipping off into a little nap.

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