Cowen: There Are No Circumstances Under Which My Resignation Would Be Required

The Taoiseach Mr. Cowen has appointed himself Taoiseach For Life in a novel re-interpretation of The Irish Constitution and Electoral Legislation.

There are no ciscumstances under which I would resign” he confirmed while campaigning in Shannon. “I was elected to govern Ireland and that is what I will do as long as there is a country to govern and a Cowen to do it”.

In answer to the point that he has in fact never been elected to govern anything, Mr. Cowen pointed out extenuating cisrcumstances. “Tough shit, you pinko blue shirt feckers, ” he quipped to journalists somewhat confusedly, “I’m in charge and it’ll be done my way and if it isn’t so I’ll eat both my cars, even the expensive one in the garage”.

Mr. Cowen’s claim to be set to rule in perpetuity is likely to result in the burning of the constitution, a spate of mass suicides and a coronation ceremony on the Hill Of Tara shortly before that is demolished to make way for a large empty road.

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2 Responses to “Cowen: There Are No Circumstances Under Which My Resignation Would Be Required”

  1. Morgan C.Jones Says:

    I swear allegiance to the Cowen

  2. Charco Says:

    I keep having this nightmare where I’m walking home from Aldi when a stout garbling man, drooling out of one corner of his mouth presses me up against a wall- and suddenly it’s dark..

    He reaches in to my back pocket, rubbing himself against me as he stealthily procures my last €5 note..

    He demands the change in my other pockets as well..

    Then with a disgusting satisfied smile he leans over my shoulder and says:

    “Vote Fianna Fáil”

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