Cowen Refuses To Contemplate

Mr. Brian Cowen (a Taoiseach from Offaly) has vowed not to contemplate defeat in the forthcoming re-run of the referendum on the ratification of the Lisbon Treaty.

dark cowen

Mr. Cowen has already explained that he will never resign as Taoiseach, and has now tightened his grip on alternative reality by promising he will not be defeated over Lisbon. Even if he is.

“I’m confident that the people of Cowenland will vote Yes to Lisbon”, explained Mr. Cowen while attending a juggling workshop in Merrion Square, Dublin at the weekend. “The Cowenish people know that we need to be at the heart of Europe. there’s no point in us pissing around in the area of the kidneys or any of that offal. every man, woman and Cowen will realise this and will vote Yes. There are now guarantees in place which will answer all the major concerns of the No voters last time – well, except the concern about not wanting to ratify the Lisbon Treaty.”

Mr Cowen went on to explain that a defeat on the Lisbon Referendum is “unthinkable”, that the future with Lisbon is “unknowable” and that the Tánaiste is “inedible”.

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