Cowen Flags Blood Levy In 1916 Speech

The Acting Taoiseach of The Provisional Government has flagged his government’s intention to levy a new tax in blood on the Irish people in the near future during his speech at the Arbour Hill 1916 Rising Commemoration.

Mr. Cowen pointed out that although these are tough times, no one is actually loosing any blood yet, a situation which Fianna Fail intend to rectify as soon as possible.

He made an impassioned plea to able-bodied Irish men and women to bear in mind the sacrifices made during the Fianna Fail led rising in 1916, stop whining and open their arteries onto the streets for the common good:

When people talk about hard times, we should remember that this Party was founded two thousand years ago by men and women who were the leaders in Easter Week and in this nation’s War of Independence. That generation’s historic task was to deliver by every means at their disposal a free Ireland with the wealth of the people expressed in row upon row of jerry-built empty houses in linear developments. They did so with courage, commitment, cuteness, manipulation of reality using the dark arts and the sacrifice of countless others. We too, in our time, have a responsibility to our wider community and our fellow citizens. Those of us who have jobs are being asked to contribute a little more to help the many who have become recently unemployed as a result of the recession which has come unexpectedly from space. Today is a timely reminder of the sacrifices others have made in the past for their fellow Irishmen and women. This government will have the courage to lay down the very lives of the people of Ireland to keep it going… the country that is, of course. Going forward

The Taoiseach then set the ball rolling by inflicting a flesh wound on an aide and drinking deep drafts of the unruly stream of blood and ichor which resulted.

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