Cóir Launches No To Lisbon Campaign

The Anti-Lisbon Treaty group Cóir has launched its “No to Lisbon” campaign with a series of posters containing stark warnings of what will definitely happen if Ireland rejects the Lisbon treaty. The slogans used include:

  • The Devil Will Suck Your Cows Dry Unless You Vote NO!
  • Foreign-Looking Fellah’s Will Do Your Job For A Penny Unless You Vote NO!
  • A German Will Be In Charge Of The SKY Remote IN YOUR LIVING ROOM!!!! Unless you vote NO!
  • Johnny Logan’s Eurovision Victories Will All Be In Vain Unless You Vote NO!

And most controversially (pictured below):

  • God Will Kill You: FACT! Unless You Vote NO!!!!!!!!!!!

coir_poster

Member of the government have accused Cóir of being a front for the right wing Catholic organisation Youth Defence, but Cóir spokesgoon Richard Wethinkyouareallgreen has said this is not true. “Yes we do operate fromn the headquarters of Youth Defence,” admitted Mr Wethinkyouareallgreen, “But that doesn’t mean we are the same organisation. It just so happens that they were kind enough to lend us a space in their office, and that it was one of the very few office spaces available in Ireland fully equipped for an inquisition… campaign…I meant campaign.

Fianna Fáil’s Dick Roche criticised Cóir scaremongering over the minimum wage. “It is not true that the minimum wage will be reduced to a penny if you vote Yes to Lisbon”, insisted Mr. Roche. “If you look at the independent plans currently being formulated by the government you will quickly see that in reality Ireland will have the independent ability to make it much much lower than that.”

The Cóir posters also suggest that Irish patriots such as Pearse, Connolly and Johnny Logan will have died in vain if Ireland does not reject The Lisbon Treaty. When it was put to him that Mr. Logan was not in fact dead, but is reportedly packing them in on his Turkish tour, Mr. Wethinkyouareallgreen muttered darkly “Not dead ye say? We’ll see about that. It’s early days yet. Oh yes. Early days indeed…”

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