Cloth Puppet Dog To Seek Clann na Puppetí Nomination In Dublin South Byelection

RTE Cloth Puppet Dog, Judge has announced that he will seek the Clann Na Puppetí nomination to run as a candidate in the forthcoming Dublin South Byelection.

Judge

As a cloth puppet dog, Judge has often been critical of harsh government policy on sweeties and has remonstrated with the Fianna Fail party many times on its laissez faire attitude to road-crossing. Judge is a good boy, and has a cold wet nose. He gives the paw and will rollover on command about 8 times out of 10. He has a degree in economics and a diploma in obedience and was recently certified pest free by a qualified political vet.

A statement by Judge The Puppet Dog released was by the Clann Na Puppetí press office today which says:

“Throughout the past 175 years I have been employed by RTE where I have been a cloth puppet for most of that time. It has been a huge privilege and an honour to have performed this role. Through Wanderly Wagon, Road Safety ads and nostalgic Late Late Show editions I have spoken directly and impartially to people as clearly as I could using only the word “wuff!”. Always I have done my best to keep the boys and girls fully informed and up to date about the economy and road safety.

“As danger loomed larger I consistently highlighted the risks of taking sweets from Godmother and not keeping watch while crossing as laid out in the Code. These warnings were ignored. Instead the bold boys and girls in the government chose to portray them as an effort to talk down road crossing dangers and keep the nice boys and girls unfairly away from the Godmother’s sweet jar. It is now too late to warn, too late to turn back the clock – especially with that narky old Crow pecking your arse off every time you get withing shotgun range of him, too late to undo the damage that has been done to countless victims of this sweet drought and road business. The damage to the boys and girls and their imaginary friends ‘Mister Money’ and ‘Sally Security’ has been huge.

“I have absolutely no confidence at all that the bold boys and girls who led us into this silly mess are capable of leading us out. Ireland needs an alternative – a new hand on the reins of the Wanderly Wagon, somoneone that is capable of fresh thinking, is strong enough to drive changes, is brave enough to tackle witches and forty coats and to restructure and reorganise the way the wagon operates to ensure sweets and happy magic are restored.

“This is a time for change. It is a time cloth puppet dogs like me to play a bigger part in trying to fix the things that have gone wrong and getting the wagon back on its feet. It is time for me to show my bite is as good as my bark.

“I believe that Clann Na Puppetí is the political party best placed to provide the new leadership and vision that the country desperately needs. Led by Bosco, ably assisted by Socky and The Morbegs, the party has set out a comprehensive policy agenda that encourages me to see Clann Na Puppetí as the party with the right team and new ideas that can get our wagon back on a wanderly track. As a result I have decided to seek the Clann Na Puppetí nomination to contest the Dublin-South byelection for a seat in the Dáil that is to be held on June 5th this year.”

Although Fianna Fail had been expected to run son of deceased Minister Seamus Brennan, Shay Brennan an accomplished, some would say “complete” banker, it is now expected that Twink and Pat “The Hat” Ingoldsby are in with a shout there as well.

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3 Responses to “Cloth Puppet Dog To Seek Clann na Puppetí Nomination In Dublin South Byelection”

  1. Póló Says:

    The Joe Duffy show today (8.5.09), much of which was extemporaneous, was worth a hundred of your rubbishy Emegencies. Get real.

  2. admin Says:

    Relax the head there

  3. Charco Says:

    I was listening to Joe Duffy today..

    He’s a muppet.

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