Charity Appeal on behalf of CRC
Every year, hundreds of old FF/FG/LAB party hacks face into Xmas with a sense of dread – facing the annual decision of where to spend Xmas and whether or not Dundrum Centre will be too packed for gift shopping so should I send the kids in with the chauffeur instead?
CRC is doing it’s bit to help…ehhh…about nine of them – with the launch of our Exclusive Luxury Charity Christmas CRCackers!!! Just €69.99 (plus handling) will buy six fancy Xmas novelty cardboard prize-tubes containing a paper hat, a pair of solid tin folding nail scissors and one of several hilarious jokes specially written by (among others) FFinancial FFunnyman Des Peelo, best known for his hilarious “Accountant” sketches with the old time comedian Cheeky Charlie Haughey and later with the “I Didn’t Do It” boy Bertie Ahern.
Peelo will have your family rolling around the table this December 25th with great gags like: “It isn’t a question of top-ups. These people were already on these salaries” And in stitches with classics like: “every year since 2010 the HSE get a list of salaries and they know about it…it’s been fully on the record and agreed with the HSE”
You can relax, safe in the knowledge that not one cent of your purchase will be frittered away on anyone requiring remedial care. Speaking from a secret Fianna Fail Escape Pod a CRC Board spokesman took the opportunity to remind Xmas shoppers that the CRCackers are available for online purchase by credit or debit card, but he did say “All the same seriously, would you risk it? The whole gaff is crawling with Fianna Failers here and sure you know what we’re like. We can’t feckin’ help ourselves when it comes to helping ourselves. Jaysus. Listen to me rabbitting on. No harm. Sure fuck all will come out of it and nobody’s head will roll. Jail? Jail you say? What are ye like? Are ye asking Santy for a bong for Xmas as well? Ye feckin’ eejit. Jail!”
Best of all, not even you will know which one of the CRCackers contains the hat, novelty and joke!!!