Budget Latest: New National Performance Indicator To Be Invented
The Acting Minister for Finance has just announced a new National Welfare Index. This will measure the national wellbeing in a way which smooths over such distorting factors as how we are doing and how much money the government has pissed down a bank drain.
As well as normal indexes of wealth and health, the new index will include such factors as:
- Number of nice looking domestic animals
- Cloud fluffiness
- Native cunning
- Our Ability To Laugh At Ourselves
- Our ability to cover up our inadequacies by allowing others to laugh at us
The new Welfare Index will be used in future to help guide government policy in key areas such as casinos, obfuscation and applied borrowing.