Bishops Intervene To Stress Non-Interference
Catholic bishops attending an annual Poking Conference in Maynooth have congratulated TDs on taking on the “noble vocation” of political leadership.
“We applaud the self-sacrifice of these young men and women. Mainly the men of course,” said Bishop O’Toole, Auxilliary Bishop of Kilfeckwad Diocese.
In a statement, the bishops said that they hoped that public policy would support and protect the common good, where “common” means “hetrosexual wedded breeding people”, rather than its confusing populist alternative meaning “everyone”.
The bishops denied they were interfering in politics, but said that they have “a duty to our flock, our herd and our collection of turtles, to speak out and encourage and promote Catholic values – not in a way which is prejudicial or discriminatory against other religious beliefs, goodness no – fair play to the heathens and may God have mercy on their souls, but rather to provide a spiritual counterpoint to the current secular theme – not that this is in anyway…. oh, feck it. Yes. We are interfering. Suck it up with your “cricket” ye Godless little gobshites. Amen.”
The bishops were speaking shortly after an informal meeting with Taoiseach-designate, Enda Kenny, at which they presented Mr. Kenny with an ice cream and made him feel small.