Batt O’Keefe Unveils Future Of Education

Minister for Placatingly Cooing At Teachers Batt O’Keefe braved the toxic company of his party leader earlier today as they announced the roll out of a new scheme which promises a ‘teaching’ laptop in every Irish classroom within three years.

Manfully ignoring the incredulous sniggering of gathered journalists, minister O’Keefe assured his audience that this scheme would effectively replace the ongoing Dept. Of Education policy of pretending that class sizes would some day be reduced.

“Thats the old way of doing things” the minister said. “The future is about electricky things and techno-nology or some such. It’s high time that this department started dissembling in ways more suited to the information age. It’s what the Chinese will be expecting after the take over….over…..oh look over there…it’s a…..nun…?” he said.

A spokesman at the department with special responsibility for communicating Education policy to teachers told The Emergency this afternoon that the key phrase is ‘teaching’ laptop. “If we buy the top end Dells they’ll teach the children without us needing any human staff. Then the communist bastards can freeze on the pickets. Where’s your book learning now? Hah? Hah? Is it keeping ye warm four eyes? Is it? Hah? Hah?”

The honours Irish teacher of tomorrow?

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