Annual FF Dinner Cancelled – Optics Wrong

Fianna Fail Optic

Too little, too late - a picture of one of the offending optics leading to the cancellation of the ceremonial 'gorging of the lizard people' which was supposed to be held at the Burlington Hotel this Saturday

Fianna Fáil’s annual Cáirde Fáil dinner scheduled for this Saturday night, traditionally one of the highlights of the social calendar for the lizard people has been cancelled.

Tickets for the fundraising gathering, known for nearly two years now as “the Acting Taoiseach’s dinner”, cost €95, and the event was due to take place in the Burlington Hotel in Dublin.

One Fianna Fáil deputy, who did not want to be named, said the party had “pulled the plug” on the dinner. “The optics of it wouldn’t have been right – they were standard Solo 35mls and himself prefers the custom large measure 105ml lads because there’s less waitin’ about fer the treble to pour like” the TD said.

Another TD, who also wished to remain anonymous, said: “I presume it was decreed it mightn’t have been a good week to go ahead with it. It would have sent out the wrong signal: MaFFianna Fáil sitting down to dinner at €95 a plate. The optics are all the wrong size in the Burlo in anyways I’m told.”

However, a spokesbanshee for Fianna Fáil insisted the event had not been cancelled but had merely been deferred until a date, yet to be selected by the junior coalition partners, in 2011.

“It’s not cancelled – it’s just postponed. They’ll make a decision early in the new year when to have it at your expense,” the spokesbanshee keened, combing out her tresses with a comb made from the teeth of recently face kicked pensioners and children.

The current chairwoman of the Cáirde Fáil Margaret Conlon TD, appealed to TDs and Senators to buy tickets at the first parliamentary party meeting of this month but many are reported to have answered her claiming to be Independents or pretended to be eastern European television crews. Ms Conlon could not be contacted yesterday but a voicemail at her office claimed that we had called a Chinese laundry.

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