Alleged Newspaper Reports Theft Of Crime Files

EXCLUSIVE by our Crime Correspondent Paul Mediawhore

It was a crime that ROCKED leafy south county Dublin to ITS KNEES – now, EXCLUSIVELY in this week’s SUNDAY GHOUL we can reveal the identity of the file thief – dubbed ‘THE DEFILER’ by some SENIOR GARDAI

Our picture shows the FACE of the THIEVING SCUMBAG who TOOK FILES BELONGING to his FORMER EMPLOYER on OR AROUND Christmas 2009 shortly before leaving to take up a position with A RIVAL ‘NEWSPAPER’ where it is believed he will be MAKING UP NAMES more suited to a Marvel comic villain for Dublin GANGLAND FIGURES and then ATTRIBUTING THEM to the Gardai.

Where will it end? Who knows? Is that 400 words yet? I’m off to the pub

The ‘Defiler’

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