Air Traffic On High Alert As Grossly Overinflated Taoiseach Breaks Moorings At National Ploughing Championships
Claims that the well-known blimp and Acting Taoiseach, Brian Cowen is now in a stable and unassailable position at the head of government look in doubt again as the puffed-up Offaly man slipped his moorings at The National Ploughing Championships (which are not just about ploughing) in Athy.
Mr Cowen was showing leadership by deliberately allowing his body to become full of gas to the point where he started to float, and allowing businesses to advertise on his bloated airborne body. All went well at first as a record crowd watched the much-loved carouser float high above the sodden fields of Athy.
But delight turned to terror when the upward momentum of the soaring Acting Taoiseach ripped the hairy twine from the child holding him on the ground, and the blimp-politician was blown away in the wind.
“We’re very upset at loosing the Taoiseach just when we had so much confidence in him,” confessed a starey Minister For Finance Brian Lenihan to reporters. “However there is an automatic gas-release mechanism built into the Taoiseach and we anticipate he will come to ground later today”.
There are some concerns that the blimp-Taoiseach will cause problems for air traffic, but these were allayed by further reassurances from Mr. Lenihan: “There is a doomsday failsafe in case the primary gas release mechanism fails,” he explained. “If he hasn’t come to earth in the normal course of events we will schedule an emergency interview on the radio first thing tomorrow morning which will enable any remaining gas to escape from a number of the Taoiseach’s, erm, valves”.
The mishap has not affected the National Ploughing Championships (which are not just about ploughing) where there have been record attendances. Speaking there yesterday, President McAleese, herself a keen harrower, attributed the turnout to a combination of the Irish People’s Great Spirit and massively high levels of unemployment.