Ahern Admits Some Blame, Hell Partially Freezes

Beelzebub caught out by sudden freezing conditions

The Prince of Darkness was caught unawares in an unprecedented cold snap which caused the proverbial freezing over of Hell this morning – the anomalous climactic conditions have been blamed on final tiny and grudging admissions of some degree of culpability in events leading to the downturn by disgraced former Taoiseach Bertie Ahern who has joined acting Taoiseach Brian Cowen in accepting some responsibility for the current economic crisis.

“I am distraught that the Father of Lies has wrought such damage on my lovely Netherworld” Lucifer told reporters this morning. “there I was, minding my own business, tormenting some of the Popes and suddenly BAM!, Hell freezes over just like that” he said, chokng back tears and a bit of nun leg..

The difficulties for Satan followed Mr Ahern agreeing with everything in the speech which acting Taoiseach Brian Cowen delivered at Dublin City University on Thursday night. A spokesman for the Met Office, Dr Gerry Manwhowinks has said that the freeze could have been worse: “Imagine if they’d accepted responsibility in any meaningful way? Brrrr!” he said, shivering for effect while winking spasmodically.

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