Acting Taoiseach Denies Leader’s Questions Took Place

The acting Taoiseach holding his breath “…until everyone leaves me alone”

The acting Taoiseach Brian Cowen today faced blistering cross examination during leaders’ questions in the Dáil over his contacts with disgraced banker Sean FitzPatrick

Speaking on the plinth afterwards Mr Coweringunderlies denied that any questioning of any nature took place. “I simply spent a number of hours in Leinster House in the company of others going forward. At no point in time were any questions asked of me, nor were any explanations offered. I refute you. I never asked to be born. I refute you all.”

Making sure to look indignant and wounded, Mr Cantbetruthful denied any impropriety on the part of Fianna Fail, insisting that the organisation is a society of friends with it's roots in charitable work, waste disposal and the importation of olive oil.

Pressed by reporters Mr Cowpig said that he was going to “…hold my breath until yiz all fuck off”.

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