Acting Taoiseach Announces Major Infrastructure Plan

The cover of the OPW booklet ‘Toward 2016’ outlining the schedule of proposed works on the Tower of Drimnagh

The coalition government cabinet meeting for the last time before summer recess has agreed to press ahead with several large scale capital projects including Metro North, the Dart Interconnector and Construction of An Tower To Ye Heavens which is to be located on a greenfield site in Drimnagh “secured through NAMA at a steal”. Speaking today from under his security blanket, acting Taoiseach Brian Cowen described the decision to go ahead with the various projects as “tough”.

Mr Cowen told reporters “And the whole earth was of one language, and of one speech. And it came to pass that Lehmann Brothers caused us to crash; And we said one to another, Go to, let us make brick, and burn them thoroughly. And we will have brick for stone, and slime for mortar. Going forward . And let us build us a city and a tower, whose top may reach unto heaven; and let us make us a name, lest we be scattered abroad upon the face of the whole earth. Paradigm….”. The Minister for Making Ludicrous Claims About Finance Brian Lenihan insisted that “This tower will pay for itself in the short to medium term and will make every Irish citizen several million euro by the time it is open in 2017”.

The Tower, is to be constructed by a consortium of major developers working under the auspices of the Office Of Public Works. Following the announcement the OPW dispatched crack teams of men in vans to key locations near Spar outlets serving coffee and buns. These men are said to be leaning on shovels already and gazing into the middle distance. It is not clear yet whether they can see 2016 yet, but they are clearly on the lookout for it’s arrival.

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One Response to “Acting Taoiseach Announces Major Infrastructure Plan”

  1. Pat Donnelly Says:

    You almost make me homesick!

    Keep it up, we need a laugh….

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