It has emerged that the promised reform of the Oireachtas and applying of the highest standards to public life is well under way with less than 500 family members having been appointed to jobs by Fine Gael TDs and Junior Minister.

Some Tds, such as Fine Gael Junior Minister Ciaran Cannon, have appointed a few family members to their team, but Fine Gael maintains this is only because you can’t get the help.

Team Cannon (L-R): Ciaran Cannon (TD), Fergal Cannon (Legal Advisor), Mary 'The Tache' Cannon (Doorperson), Freddy 'Four Eyes Cannon (The Stash), Trixie (Driver), Marty 'Mephistopheles' Cannon (Schemes)

Labour TDs have also shown remarkable restraint with Arthur Spring (nephew of former Labour Dick Spring, son of former Labour TD Dan Spring) having appointed his brother as his parliamentary assistant. This was despite Labour Leader Eamon Gilmore insisting that TDs at least disguise anyone who looks like them with “some sort of a hat or wig”.

Arthur Spring has defended his appointment of his brother saying he is the best man for the job. I interviewed nineteen Springs in the Spring area, and graham is the best Spring for the job. He won the job amidst fierce competition form the Springs. If I could hire him a million times I would. He’s just the best Spring available to do stuff”.

Fine Gael President Cox (he hopes) in The Right Wing

In a shock move today Fine Gael is now even more full of archly egregious right wing showoffs – Former EU Commission President and RTE current affairs presenter Pat Cox has announced that he will be joining Fine Gael in order to seek that party’s nomination to run for the Presidency of Ireland. His only opposition within the party for the Aras is Fine Gael MEP and former RTE current affairs presenter Mairead McGuinness.

“The right wing is getting right wing-ier” as loveable Drumcondra crim Bertie Ahern might say