This week we present a special series of clips related to The Green Party, starting with John Gormley, leader of the Green party here talking openly, honestly and bravely about the dire consequences for smaller parties when getting into bed with Fianna Fail.
This sketch was first broadcast in Episode 16 of Series 1 on June 17 2009.
Cast: Dermot Carmody, Karen Ardiff, Joe Taylor
Gaybo and Dermot get to grips with God, Blasphemy and so forth in thei sketch from Series 1 Episode 9 broadcast first on May 7 on Newstalk. Not for the weak-stomached. Or the Infidel.
His Holiness Pope Bennyfromcrossroads XVI has fractured his right wrist following a fall. Had the mishap occurred some 69 years earlier, it would have prevented the Supreme Pontiff from participating quite as fully as he normally did during the saluting sections of meetings of Der Hitlerjugend.
The incident recalls an earlier ironical injury incurred by the current Pope’s immediate predecessor Johnpaul-Georgeringo II, who walking away pleased from relaying the Lord’s Divine Will that homosexuals, transsexuals and transvestites were abominations, tripped on the hem of his dress and broke his hip.
As our leaders publish the latest catalogue of hairshirt requirements just prior to fecking off into the sunset, it seems appropriate to reprise on the site this sketch/song: Summer Recess.
Cast: Everybody!
Recorded by Mark @ Mutiny Studios.
Following several hours of soul searching and some heartfelt begging not to, the government has opted to publish the report by ‘An Bord Fuck Youa’ which proposes cuts of €5.2billion in expenditure.
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The Emergency will continue its foray into live performance with a half hour show as part of the Leviathan Silly Season Satire Special at The Button Factory on Wednesday, July 22nd.
Emergency team members Dermot Carmody, Morgan C Jones, Karen Ardiff and Joe Taylor will be joined by Crazy Dog Audio Theatre Sound FX wizard Roger Gregg to perform a radio show live on stage.
The first live performance by The Emergency was a short spot at a recent Leviathan, and the team have since performed a half hour show as part of the Trim Swift Satire Special. The Emergency received an award from the Swift festival acknowledging its services to satire. The award, fashioned from a large cut gemstone is seen here with Emergency Force consultant, Yoda.
For more information on the show at The Button Factory see Leviathan’s web site.
In which Senator Cassidy is apprehended by gold digging American Tourists. First broadcast on Newstalk 106-108 on May 30th 2009.
Cast: Karen Ardiff, Nick McGivney (The Tourists), Dermot Carmody (Donie) and Morgan C Jones (Sen. David Norris)
Recorded by Mark @ Mutiny Studios.
As locals from both sides of the sectarian divide joined bemused tourists in viewing historic displays of intransigence and violence to mark William of Orange’s historic displays of violence and intransigence, the Orange Order proudly announced a new direction which will propel them forward by at least 60 years – thats almost into the mid 1800s.
Called the OrangeTM iProd, it is a handheld device which contains nearly 4 gigabytes of pro-loyalist media for the modern age. Head of the noble Order’s new ‘Tachnalagy Wang’, the most Reverend Willie McGates launched the iProd yesterday at the King’s Hall in Belfast.
“Thoss wee devace harr is pocked with cantent so it is hie” he told the reporter from the Banbridge Consumer & Advertiser who was exclusively covering and attending the launch. “Ot’s marvelous so it is – thorrs a nane and a hoff arrr loup of fife and bawdy Lawmbeg drummin te get through – and thots beforr ye get near the fofteen arrr loup of preachers shiting NO SARRANDER! it does a body a wurlld of good hie”.
Asked how easy it was to alter the content on the device, Reverend McGates appeared confused, then hurt, then angry “No!” he screamed, continuing “Ye cannot cheeange the cantent on the iProd! One more step down the road to Curry’s!No! Never! Never! NEVER!” before taking a good bite and chew of a lemon and marching off through a nationalist shopping mall.
The iProd comes in a choice of tangerine, orange, yellowy-red and ‘arrnge’ for people from Limavaddy. It has a volume control, but it is set to 13/HI and disabled as standard.
A small community in Limerick has interrupted the recession with a petition looking to retain a tree stump which they say looks like the Blessed Virgin. The community, which has already garnered over 2000 signatures (some of them genuine) has recieved statements of support from a village in Sri Lanka which celebrates a fragment of wall that resembles Fonzie from Happy Days.
As thousands gathered locally in the local churchyard at Holy Mary Parish Church in Rathkeale yesterday, local parish priest Fr Willie Russell said on local radio station Local Limerick Live 95FM that people should not worship the tree. “There’s nothing there . . . it’s just a tree . . . you can’t worship a tree.”
His statement has angered Pantheists, Hindus and Druids all over Ireland who now wish to have the Catholic clergyman fined. The Druids furthermore wish to have him “bound with yarrow and left to sit near a faery fort continuously for thirty days and eighteen nights”. Asked to elaborate on how this punishment would work, a spokesdruid told our reporter “…look man, we’re druids…not….maths guys or something” before shouting “look over there!” and running away to hide behind his VW camper
None of this can remove from the frenzy in sleepy Rathkeale where workmen made the discovery while cutting down trees earlier this week.
Local organisers organised the petition in an effort to have the stump, which was due to be dug out of the ground yesterday, made into a permanent local fixture at the church. “We haven’t had this much fun around here since the last pogrom” said a devout lunatic yesterday who refused to be identified or photographed as they believed that “soul-theft” was our ultimate intent.
A spokesman for the Limerick diocesan office said the “church’s response to phenomena of this type is one of great scepticism”.
“While we do not wish in any way to detract from devotion to Our Lady, we would also wish to avoid anything which might lead to superstition,” he said, before moving his hands over a big bowl of water and some crackers while putting on a “ghostie” voice.
Brian Cowen artist, singer, mimic and Taoiseach has hit out at the feckless population of Ireland, whom he holds responsible for the current economic crisis.
Opening a big shiny building in Dublin, the Taoiseach slammed the “Complacency” of people who think that merely by loosing their job, taking a pay cut, paying levies and/or booking passage on the Sheepstealer Special to the Antipodes, they have done their bit.
“I am appalled by the happy-go-luck, devil-may-care attitude of ordinary people and I must warn you all: you’re still ear deep in the shite”.
A spokesman for the electorate expressed surprise at the Taoiseach’s remarks. “We were having a party before Mr. Cowen brought this unfortunate state of affairs to our attention this morning”, he confirmed. “We’ve been completely foolish and would like to apologise unreservedly to the Taoiseach and the government for ruining the country like a bunch of gadflys”.
The Taoiseach is expected to launch an attack on lacksadaisical pensioners in a major speech soon.
